Wednesday, June 27, 2012

MEASURING LIFE IN OUNCES

It's finally time for me to redirect anyone who reads this site to my Long Trail thru hike blog.  Until my trip is completed in mid October, I'll be putting up post on The Dusty Camel website but I'll always post a link here.  If you want to read about some amazing adventures, read through the blog entries for Ian and Andy's thru hikes of the Pacific Crest and Appalachian Trails.  Awesome stuff.

Everyday is Christmas at my house recently.  Here are some of my new goodies:





Here we go:

Todd On The Long Trail

Saturday, June 2, 2012

THE DEATH OF CYNICISM

I'm not sure when the seeds were planted.  Maybe it was hiking the Presidents in New Hampshire last August.  It may have been the hikes that S. and I went on every weekend last summer.  It may have been my loving relationship with the Appalachian Trail.  Or it could have been an aligning of the stars that are my obsession.  Whatever it was it removed the yoke of anger and self hatred I've been burdened with for decades.  Somewhere the violence I committed against myself finally fell beyond my reach.  In the past I've alluded to a difficult childhood.  I never talked openly about it because I was always afraid that if I opened the floodgate with no safety net waiting for me on the other side, it would have ended terribly.  There had to be light to balance against the darkness.  

So... I was sexually abused as a kid.   In the last year I've learned how it has effected every breath I've taken since the day it first happened.  That is the darkness.  As a dividing line between that life and this, I've decided to give myself the gift of hiking all 275 miles of the Long Trail in Vermont, from the VT/Mass border to Canada.  That is the light.  For me it's a pilgrimage, a way to take back what had been taken from me.  It is also my cause.   I'll be raising money for the Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN).  Finally, and maybe most importantly, it's a chance for me to walk the spine of the Green Mountains, to fuck around and have fun in one of the most beautiful places on earth for 30 days!

So how did this come about?  In the clusterfuck that is my head, I pulled the pin on the idea and in a matter of 2 weeks was granted a month off from work, gained the support of a remarkable organization (www.thedustycamel.org/), was blessed with free or unbelievably discounted gear, bought a shitload of books, and maps, and planned the first 10 days of my trek.  It's forced me  to let go, as best I can for now, the cynicism and anger that has poisoned me for most of my life.  How the fuck can you be bitter when you have a small army of supporters; friends, family, relative strangers, all standing guard behind you?  I can't.  In the coming weeks I'll be rerouting this blog (for the 3 or 4 people that read it!) to the site that Ian of  The Dusty Camel is setting up for me.  I'll be taking part in their Treks For Charity program.  Know in advance that I'm going to completely fuck up when it comes to thanking all the people that have helped me. I've started a list.   I apologize in advance. 

Onward and upward.  FUCK YEAH!!!  

For 30 days in September this will be my home: