It's funny the things that go through my head before a long run. It's the nagging little fear voice that tells me I can't. The doubting whisper that tells me that it's too rainy and cold. It's the poisonous drift that says maybe todays miles can be cut short and "made up later", as if that's possible. Then there is the voice that I pray for, the one that says FUCK YOU and storms out of the car into the 41 degree rainstorm. It's a common theme lately, where a combination of weather and miles conspire to frighten me back into bed. There are days when I'm ashamed for even thinking it and there are even more shameful days when it wins and I don't. Today I won. It was freezing fucking cold and either misting or raining for the entire hour and a half. 1.5 miles in my stepping stones to Rock Garden were washed out and the only choices were to turn around or hop into the stream. It wasn't that deep, or that cold, but it was another of those yes or no decisions that can leave you feeling satisfied or poisoned with self hatred. The water actually felt good; good enough to stand in the middle of it and snap some pictures, and the run ended up being that perfect combination of ease and effort that only happens once in a great while.
While todays miles would be little more than a warmup for an experienced runner, they made me remember when, almost 60 pounds ago, I couldn't even run a quarter mile, Today made me think back to how when I ran one mile that two seemed impossible, ran two when four seem unreachable, and so on. I was reminded that the most difficult miles I'll run will be next weeks long run and that in hindsight this weeks miles will seem easy. Today 50 Kilometers seems very far away but probably less far away than the first mile appeared when I started this trip.
ROCK GARDEN STREAM:
ENTRY TO ROCK GARDEN (YES, THERE'S A TRAIL IN THERE SOMEWHERE):
RANDOM PYRAMID LOOP PHOTOS. THE HAZY EFFECT ON SOME OF THEM IS FROM THE CONDENSATION IN MY JACKET GETTING ON THE LENS. ARTSY AND PRETENTIOUS: