TRAIL ALIEN

These photos were taken during one of my scary as shit night time runs in Bennett's Pond. I'm using my Black Diamond Icon headlamp and trying not to bust my ass on rocks, roots, stumps, ice, or trail demons.

STARKWEATHER RECORDING SESSION 11/2010

These photos are from the last recording session we did. The song is called "Drug Holiday" and it's a 28 minute long trip through mental illness and poor decision making skills. The real studio pictures were taken at Deadverse Studios in Union City, NJ where we recorded some vocals and mixed. The other pictures are of Carriage The Weak Studios which is actually my closet-like bedroom. We recorded about 85% of the vocals for the song straight into my laptop. Amazing experience, amazing results.

BEAR CREEK 12/24/2010

BEAR CREEK 12/20/2010

BEAR CREEK 12/20/2010

MOTHER NATURE CONSPIRES AGAINST ME

This mornings run was one of the most difficult I've ever done. It was cold, there was a light coating of snow on the ground, and in less than 2 miles I soaked my feet in an icy puddle and smashed the arch of my foot on the point of a rock. The leaves were iced over and felt like running on 4 inch thick crunching honeycombs. It was too rough to hop into the Rock Garden stream so I grabbed a stick for balance and crossed on a fallen tree. My first trip across went pretty smoothly. My second? Not so much. I came very close to falling into the drink and, in hindsight, would have been better off. By the end of this run I'd completely jacked up the arch of my right foot and managed to injury my left achilles. Not a good day at the office.

DECEMBER 2010

Knee deep stream, Temperature in the teens. No stopping for pictures today.



It was eventually faster to just run through rather than around all of the downed branches on the trail from the storm earlier this week.

NIGHTRUNNING

Running in the dark with a headlamp is pretty freaky. It was easier than I thought it would be from a physical standpoint but far less assuring from a psychological point of view. It's very strange to only be focused on the three or four feet right in front of you, especially as the darkness amplifies every sound and every amplified sound reminds you of the movie "Halloween".

JOELLE RUNS THE NYC MARATHON!

My buddy Joelle from work is running NYC today. She absolutely fucking rocks and I told her to either reach her goal or completely blow up. She's a monster runner and WILL reach her time. I'll be tracking her all day. Here she is at the start (she's the one with the name "Joelle" on her shirt. Thats sarcasm):

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR...

It's funny the things that go through my head before a long run. It's the nagging little fear voice that tells me I can't. The doubting whisper that tells me that it's too rainy and cold. It's the poisonous drift that says maybe todays miles can be cut short and "made up later", as if that's possible. Then there is the voice that I pray for, the one that says FUCK YOU and storms out of the car into the 41 degree rainstorm. It's a common theme lately, where a combination of weather and miles conspire to frighten me back into bed. There are days when I'm ashamed for even thinking it and there are even more shameful days when it wins and I don't. Today I won. It was freezing fucking cold and either misting or raining for the entire hour and a half. 1.5 miles in my stepping stones to Rock Garden were washed out and the only choices were to turn around or hop into the stream. It wasn't that deep, or that cold, but it was another of those yes or no decisions that can leave you feeling satisfied or poisoned with self hatred. The water actually felt good; good enough to stand in the middle of it and snap some pictures, and the run ended up being that perfect combination of ease and effort that only happens once in a great while.






While todays miles would be little more than a warmup for an experienced runner, they made me remember when, almost 60 pounds ago, I couldn't even run a quarter mile, Today made me think back to how when I ran one mile that two seemed impossible, ran two when four seem unreachable, and so on. I was reminded that the most difficult miles I'll run will be next weeks long run and that in hindsight this weeks miles will seem easy. Today 50 Kilometers seems very far away but probably less far away than the first mile appeared when I started this trip.

ROCK GARDEN STREAM:





ENTRY TO ROCK GARDEN (YES, THERE'S A TRAIL IN THERE SOMEWHERE):




RANDOM PYRAMID LOOP PHOTOS. THE HAZY EFFECT ON SOME OF THEM IS FROM THE CONDENSATION IN MY JACKET GETTING ON THE LENS. ARTSY AND PRETENTIOUS:

BENNETT'S POND ROCK GARDEN

ENEMY OF THE ANKLE:

OCTOBER MILEAGE

THIS IS MY FIRST REAL MONTH OF TRAINING FOR THE HINTE-ANDERSON TRAIL RUN 50K. SO FAR, SO GOOD.

BENNETT'S POND 10/29/2010 AND BEAR CREEK 10/30/2010

BENNETT'S POND 10/29/2010

(CL) THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN A FANTASTIC RUN. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN WHAT IT WAS, AND THAT IS A LESSON IN FAILURE. WORK IS NOT GOING WELL AND I'M TEETERING ON THE BRINK OF GETTING FIRED. NOT BECAUSE OF DOWNSIZING OR LOW NUMBERS, BUT BECAUSE I STEADFASTLY REFUSE TO STOP BEING WHAT I AM. DIRECT, HONEST, AND SOMETIMES ABRASIVE. NONE OF THAT MATTERS. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I SPENT THE ENTIRE 8.09 MILES AND 93 MINUTES AND 17 SECONDS THINKING ABOUT WORK. THINKING ABOUT WHAT I COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY, WHAT I CAN DO TO NOT BE DISLIKED AS MUCH AS I SEEM TO BE BY MY COWORKERS. WHAT ANGERED ME, AND WHAT SPOILED THIS MOMENT, WAS THE LACK OF MENTAL DISCIPLINE AND MENTAL TENACITY REQUIRED TO JUST RUN, TO FOCUS ON BREATHING AND FOOTSTEPS AND THE COOLNESS OF THE AIR AGAINST MY SKIN. THE NEGATIVITY FED UPON ITSELF AND SOON I WONDERED IF I WOULD HAVE THE MENTAL TOUGHNESS TO GUT IT OUT WHEN THE MILES GOT LONG AND THE PHYSICAL CAPACITY GREW WEAK. I CAN LOOK AT THIS AS A DAY WASTED OR AS A "TEACHABLE MOMENT", ONE THAT SHOWED ME THAT WHATEVER IS GOING ON IN MY NIGHTMARE FACTORY OF A HEAD I STILL PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER AND COMPLETE MY MISSION.

BEAR CREEK 10/30/2010

(CL) VISITING MY PARENTS SO I RAN BEAR CREEK AGAIN TODAY. THE LAST TIME I RAN THERE I WENT A MILE AND A HALF UP AND TURNED AROUND. THIS TIME I DID THE FULL 5 MILE LOOP AND SOMEHOW ADDED ON AN EXTRA HALF MILE. THE FIRST THREE MILES ARE A SERIES OF SWITCHBACKS THAT CLIMB AND WIND THROUGH SOME PRETTY PUNISHING TERRAIN. A COMBINATION OF THICK WET LEAVES AND HUGE SECTIONS OF VERY ROCKY AND ROOTY TRAIL. I WOULD SAY THERE AREN'T MORE THAN A HUNDRED YARDS OF SMOOTH, FLAT TRAIL IN THE FIRST THREE MILES. THE LAST TWO MILES MAKE THE TREACHEROUS CLIMB COMPLETELY WORTH IT. THE DOWNHILL SECTIONS ARE FAIRLY SMOOTH SINGLETRACK WITH A FEW GNARLY ROCK GARDEN SECTIONS. THE LAST HALF MILE GETS IT'S REVENGE ON YOU FOR ENJOYING THE DOWNHILL WITH AN ENDLESS LENGTH OF ROLLING AND SLICK ROCK. AWESOME.

ENOUGH ABOUT THE LOGISTICS...

It's amazing to contrast this run with yesterdays. yesterday was draining and at the time seemed pointless. I completely lacked the mental discipline to block out my trouble at work and just enjoy the fact that I got to spend an hour and a half in the woods. I kept trying to hit the reset button, the way a the best goalies or pitchers can reset after letting up an easy goal or a home run. I spent the entire 8 miles drafting apologies and rolling through every ridiculous detail of my most recent disciplinary problems on the job. Every step felt like a pain in the ass and there was no sense of accomplishment or endorphin rush that I usually feel when I hit the parking lot.

Todays run was far more technical, steep, and one of the most punishing runs I've ever been on but it felt remarkable. The endorphin rush I felt was like smoking Meth and it was the first time that I really felt like my training was paying off. I don't know if it was because I had to concentrate so hard to keep from killing myself or what but I ran with a clear mind. My hill climbing abilities seem to have improved a great deal and I'm satisfied with my effort but it was really what was going on inside my head, and not my legs and lungs, that made the difference. It would be easy to say that it was the distraction of a new trail but I feel like it was something else. Yesterday I let the Nightmare Factory into the woods with me. I was running against every bad thought I could manufacture and there was no flow, not even on some of the lengthy downhills. Enough for today.


THIS SAYS IT ALL:















CHECK OUT THE VIEW BEHIND ME. I RAN UP...AND THEN I RAN DOWN.



I TOOK THE WHITE TO YELOW TRAIL. 5.5 MILES.