ONE LAST TRAINING RUN BEFORE THE RAPTURE...

I guess I'd better get this post up quickly. This morning I went for my last training run before the Rapture. I've secretly been upping my miles, dialing in my nutrition, and doing CrossFit, all in anticipation of this day. Apparently at 6:00pm today I am either going to fly through the sky to heaven or suffer about 5 months of earthquakes, fires, and general lousy weather conditions before being killed. My thoughts on this are A, If I am sucked up into the air, I want to be fit and handsome when I get to heaven, or B, If I'm not one of the chosen (which, let's be honest, is a long shot anyway) I'll be able to get in some pretty gnarly and rugged trail running before I'm finally swallowed up by the heaving earth. Either scenario is fine with me. My only fear is that in hell I'll be locked in a room with the country station KIX 106 endlessly playing faux country music with nothing sharp to jam into my ear drums. Holy shit. In case it isn't clear, and how could it not be, anyone that believes the "Rapture" is happening is a fucking retard. Now I know that retard is not a nice word and every time I write it or say it I think about that, but really, if you believe that you're getting sucked up to the sky like dirt in a vacuum, then you are a fucking retard. I wish I had the time and money to drive around and interview all of the people that blew their life savings on billboards, radio, and TV ads proclaiming the end. HA. HA. HA.

Let's talk tomorrow...